first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize