My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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