I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
