I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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