Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
