with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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