There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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