sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
