This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
