When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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