I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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