This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
