just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
