Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
