Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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