Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
