Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
