Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
