just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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