i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
