try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
