is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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