U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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