Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
