I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize