3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
