I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
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