i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
