Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
