And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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