but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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