Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
A+ Viking dick
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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