A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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