I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
