how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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