so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
