i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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