We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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