He is an equal opportunity slut.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize