Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
