I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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