If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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