You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
