My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
