I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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