There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
