he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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