Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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