At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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