Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
