Duck Duck Cougar?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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