Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
