I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
