It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
