left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
