So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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