so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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