If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
