Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
