you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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