our cab driver is having phone sex.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
