I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
