turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
