Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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