what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
