that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
