no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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