yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I don't think brook has ever known best
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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