yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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