I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
