Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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