Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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