I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
