Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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